This year the Lord has been teaching me the true meaning of “You are forgiven,” and showing me who He really is as my Lord and Savior. I am a prodigal. I lived as a Christian from the age of fourteen, but after going through a divorce in my 40s, I walked away and knowingly stepped into a life of sin.

But my Lord did not leave me there. When I fell to my knees in utter despair, begging Him to save me, He heard my cry, saved me, and brought me back into His loving arms. Even so, the guilt I carried felt overwhelming. I kept thinking, How could God forgive me? I felt ashamed and undeserving of His mercy and grace.

But when God lifted me back up, that was only the beginning. He led me back to church and into Bible studies that have grown me and opened my eyes to His heart. Verses I’ve known all my life have become more life-giving than ever. One that deeply moved me was Exodus 34:6–7, where God tells us who He is: merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, and forgiving sin. I’ve been meditating on those attributes, and I’m in awe of the God we serve.

Through Community Bible Study and our study of the Psalms, God has been speaking to me about forgiveness. Psalm 103:12 reminds me that He removes our transgressions “as far as the east is from the west.” Psalm 51:17 showed me He desires true repentance—a broken and contrite heart—and that repentance leads to a renewed heart and spirit. I also recently finished a New Testament study (Bible Recap), where 2 Corinthians helped me understand the difference between godly grief and worldly grief.

God is growing my trust in Him—teaching me that He never breaks His covenants, that He is faithful, and that He wants a relationship with me. I am human and I will still struggle, but in God and through His beloved Son Jesus, I am saved. My shame doesn’t stand a chance against the truth of His grace and mercy.

God has also drawn me closer through worship songs, especially praise music—songs like “You Are My Hiding Place” by Selah, “Gratitude,” and “King of Hearts” by Brandon Lake. One lyric that stayed with me is that God is “the King of the brand new start.” I felt that deeply—God has given me a brand new start.

I’m amazed at how God speaks through His Word, through songs, through my pastor and teachers, and through the people He places around me. Bible study—both online and in person—has been a gift. And being in a group has been especially powerful. I’ve learned so much, and I’ve gained dear friends—women who love God, pray for one another, and are drawing closer to Him together.

I want to encourage everyone: turn to God’s Word. Study it, breathe it in, live it. And even if you’ve read it before, read it again—because God always shows you something new in the season you’re in. His Word comforts, heals, teaches, and corrects—but most of all, His Word lives.

When we repent and look for Him, He is always there—waiting with open arms for us to come home. I thank You and praise You, Lord, for Your forgiveness and for drawing me closer and closer to You. Amen.

“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow…” (Isaiah 1:18)

Rhonda Breen